Untitled

Jell-o & zero cal drinks

Mon, 20 May 2013 13:59:57 -0400

I’m going on clear liquids for a week to make up for a week of insanity. I hate myself for eating. Why is it so hard just to fucking shut the fridge, or the cupboard door. I struggle so much when I cook for my kids, my husband, the temptation is everywhere. I must be stronger than the temptation. It’s the only way.

Once upon a time

Mon, 20 May 2013 04:14:39 -0400

Once upon a time I cured my self of my need for pasta by imagining shoving all the pasta I could fit, plus the one food I hate most- mayonnaise- into my mouth at the same time. In this mental game I just kept imagining shoving pasta and mayo into my mouth over and over until I physically backed ill with the thought. I am going there tonight. For the next hour I am making myself on thoughts, and by the time I’m done I will hate pasta.

I hate me

Mon, 20 May 2013 04:10:49 -0400

I hate my thighs. I feel the fat, the flubber, the cellulite. I am sickened by the way the rub, I feel them touching in the shower. My stomach is fat, I can pinch the rolls, I could throw up. How could this happen to me? Food. Disgusting food. I hate me for eating. Ok, I’m going to admit it…. So hard to do. I ate two hamburgers with buns cheese and avacodo yesterday, in the days before that pasta, hotdogs, bread. I probably ate 6 peanut butter & jelly sandwiches this past week. With every bite I knew it was wrong. I chose to eat. I chose to not care. What the fuck! I hate me for this. I hate me so much! Ahhhhhhhhh

Hunger Pains

Fri, 17 May 2013 08:51:00 -0400

I am stronger than what I feel right now.

I am stronger than the need to eat.

I am stronger than the temptation that surrounds me.

Failure

Mon, 06 May 2013 09:12:25 -0400

I’ve failed my first attempt at ABC diet. But all was not lost. These first two weeks have trained me to stay under 1000 cals a day. Considering I was eating like 2500 before, that’s not too bad, and I am loosing weight, just not as fast as I would have liked. I’ve exercised more than I have in over 10 years, and I don’t plan to stop. I’m going to continue to make my goal 500 cals indefinitely, and if I fail daily, as long as the scales still turns back, I guess I’ll survive. I have 20 days till my bikini. I’d like to hit 118 by then, and 108 by July 4th.

Hip bones

Mon, 06 May 2013 09:07:04 -0400

Nothing I love more than when my hip bones start to show through. If only my thighs and ass would catch up to my stomach.

I love No-oodles

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 11:17:23 -0400

This product is my saving grace. I eat these with miso and have a real 30 cal meal :)

128.4

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 11:15:51 -0400

Finally the scale is moving down. It took a few days for it to change at all. I just couldn’t break 130. I hope as I continue with my ABCs this will dwindle.

As I fail each day, I find some comfort in knowing that I’m at least under my regular calorie intake. I’m still eating less than I have for the past year. So it’s still progress.

It’s just the harder I work the faster the reward.

20 lbs to go.

Photo

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:47:24 -0400

Photo

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:47:14 -0400

ballerinaproject: Win a special autographed Ballerina Project...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:45:50 -0400

ballerinaproject:

Win a special autographed Ballerina Project print! #11

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Normally our limited edition prints are only signed by the photographer (Dane Shitagi) but this special print that we are giving away is also signed by the ballerina in the image, Cassie Trenary. This print is our standard large size 16x20 inch print and is also the 3rd print produced in the edition of 20.

This image was created in Central Park, New York City. To learn more about Cassie Trenary check out her biography on our new website.

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By subscribing to the new Ballerina Project website there are many other benefits on top of being entered to this and future print giveaways. For more information on subscribing to our new Ballerina Project website: http://ballerinaproject.com/2012/11/subscribe-to-the-new-ballerina-project-website-2/

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esotericmelange: Alessandra - Lower East Side (bp-08-129)

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:45:12 -0400

esotericmelange:

Alessandra - Lower East Side (bp-08-129)

Photo

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:35:43 -0400

100 cal of food

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 09:22:32 -0400

No-oodles 0
Miso 30
Tofu noodles 30
Bullion cube 5
Shredded carrot 3/4 cup 35
Vinegar 0
Water & Tea

ambiguousava: ballerina project Brittney - Upper West Side...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 06:27:59 -0400

ambiguousava:

ballerina project

Brittney - Upper West Side (3-101)

ABC Day 4 100

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 05:37:05 -0400

In a weird way I’m excited for today. I’m excited for such a challenge.

I’m starting my day with Tea & Stevia.

Tea, No-oodles, & Miso Soup

Grouchy

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:35:45 -0400

I hate my thighs so much.

How is it possible some people are skinny with boobs

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:35:19 -0400

It is crazy to me how flat chested I can be… Like literally an A cup be too big. I found that the pre-teen bras at k-Mart fit me better than any other.

My husband spends $$$$ on me at Victoria’s secrete, wishing I’d wear the things he buys, but my boobs are so small even the A’s make me uncomfortable.

Not to mention I’m to big of a cow to even act sexy.

20 pounds.

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:51:28 -0400

Really I’d be happy if I lost 20 pounds. I’d really like to loose a pound a day for the next 20 days, but I guess that’s not too likely.

22 pounds and I’d be thrilled. That’s my real goal. I want to be just over under weight. I want to be “healthy”

Perfect would be 25 pounds lost, really. But I can’t have perfect, cuz I can’t be “sick”

My husband would send me away.

I love my kids too much to be sick.

Screw my altered ABC

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:27:16 -0400

Screw it. It’s too hard to eat a little, I’d rather skip meals. Ahhhhh